Self Care Can Improve Emotional Regulation

By Weixi Huang

When we go through challenges, we want to respond effectively so we can get closer to our goals, not just react because we feel strongly at the moment and do something we might regret later. The difference between the two is the intention and awareness we place on responding compared to reacting, which is often driven by intense emotion at the moment or lack of self-awareness. We don’t have to wait for that moment to act to make a difference in how we respond. We can start today with self-care. 

When it comes to self-care there is a balance between physical and mental health. In the center there is wellness which keeps the two in balance. When we feel comfortable, content, healthy, and happy, we are well; this means our mind and body are balanced, and it is easier to manage the anxiety, anger, sadness, disgust, and joy we feel day to day. This makes it easier to notice spikes in our emotions before we react. When we are well, we are more aware when our emotions are high in energy. This is helpful when interacting with others during stressful situations to keep out emotions from pulling us into doing something we might regret later. 

Practicing the DBT - PLEASED skills could help us achieve wellness and emotional flexibility through self-care; meaning we could choose routines that improve our emotions by improving our physical health, starting now.

 PLEASED skills:

1) Check in with your doctor or doctors if you haven’t done so in a long time. Follow up with your dentist. Imagine how tough it is to talk to someone we care about or someone you dislike but have to work with when you have a throbbing toothache. Maintain hygiene, stay hydrated, and follow doctors recommendations. Pay attention and get help for the areas of your body you notice you feel unwell with so the next time you need to focus on a task you are not as distracted. Take notice to make sure that pain or discomfort is not making your anger or anxiety worse.

2) List your resources. Think about and write down what is available to support you during periods of sadness, high anxiety or anger. Think about what helped you before or something you haven’t tried. Keep in mind situations could be different, and that influences what is available. Jot down what is in the way of you getting these resources and try to work around them and ask for help from others if you are having a hard time. If you are feeling stuck, try looking over the suggestions below as a starting reference. If you feel low or down, do the opposite of what you feel to get out of that slump: go outside, talk to someone who makes you laugh, and exercise. Being adaptive instead of trying to control or fight against what is happening could make the benefits and opportunities more apparent to you. Make sure you have contact information for your doctor and access to the equipment for exercise at home or go to the gym.  

3) Eat balanced meals; try to avoid eating too much processed sugars. Try to avoid consuming too much salt because salt can raise your blood pressure. Research shows it may be more difficult to manage your anger with high blood pressure. As dehydration can make anxiety worse, try to stay hydrated with at least 8 glasses of water a day. Consider higher fiber foods as they could make you feel full longer after the meal and help you manage how much you are eating. Eating fruits helps maintain a healthy gut and prevent constipation and not being constipated while trying to talk to someone does wonders with how you handle frustration. 

4) Avoid drugs and alcohol. While they may temporarily shift your emotions and distance you from your troubles and stress. They hinder you from practicing routines that could help you work with your emotions and respond with intention to get you closer to what you want or need. If you find yourself having difficulty cutting down on the substance, needing more of the substance to get the same effect, and feeling sick without the substance, consider entering detox at a local hospital and seeking help at a local substance use treatment program. Also consider attending AA meetings and harm reduction programs. 

5) Sleep between 7 and 10 hours a day. Without enough sleep you may notice your anger, frustration, and irritability are worse and may feel sad during the day. Your brain needs sleep to regulate your emotions effectively.

6) Exercise for 20 to 60 minutes multiple times weekly and throughout the day. When able to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Consider walking a few extra blocks to the next nearest train station. Aim to park your car farther so you would have some walking distance back to the car every time you get off work. Try cleaning, playing with your dog, or playing sports for friends. If you notice any tense bodily discomfort, stop and consult with your doctor to find something less strenuous. Exercise releases endorphins and increases levels of serotonin and dopamine, which makes us feel good.

7) PLEASED skills need to be practiced every day for them to work. Practicing them daily allows you to blend them into your routine. Over time it becomes more natural and easier to practice the skills with less effort. Consider using health apps to track and remind you of your daily progress. You may notice the benefits of improved mood, feeling more comfortable, content, and easier time managing instances of high anxi

ety, anger, and sadness.