Navigating Relationships In Our 20s

Dating in one’s 20s has never been easy for any generation, it’s a complicated decade within everyone’s life where we are entering adulthood, figuring out what we want to do with our life, and discovering ourselves. However, as a 23 year-old in 2026, it has felt particularly difficult now for people in my age group compared to that of previous generations. With the advent of the internet and continuously evolving technology, dozens of new avenues of connection making have arisen—making forming relationships “easier” in some ways, but also increasingly difficult. With dating apps, social media, and dwindling third spaces, how is one supposed to authentically meet a partner while also maintaining their mental health?

The Complex Reality of Dating Apps

Since 2012—Tinder’s launch—the modern interface of dating has been reduced to swiping and a mobile experience. When I emerged into adulthood and was introduced to these apps, I quickly realized it wasn’t for me. On the surface, having a plethora of possible connections at our fingertips sounds exciting and promising, but what this can result in is paralyzing choices. Coined by Barry Schwartz, the paradox of choice—where infinite choices lead us to feel overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and even unable to decide—plays into the psychology of dating apps. By using even one app, we are offered hundreds of potential matches which can make a user feel less invested and less committed, since “someone better” is always a swipe away. 

Unfortunately, the dating experience has also become gamified and a source of entertainment. I’ve witnessed this firsthand from friends and content creators, where they’ll show others their live swiping experience and treat it as a sort of “game.” Parameters for swiping will be established—often arbitrary and humorous—and commentary is provided throughout the swiping session. As an observer, I will admit I have found this humorous from friends, but left feeling put off and uncomfortable. It is a really strange thing to essentially reduce other people to depersonalized objects of entertainment. From what I’ve seen on social media, this is a very common habit—even using it as “content”—and some even escalate the objectification aspect of it. What can result from this practice, is that the average 20-something-year-old may approach dating apps and connection-making detached and even facetious. 

However, it would be unfair to dismiss dating apps entirely, as they have also created meaningful opportunities for connection that older generations simply did not have. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have expanded the social landscape beyond one’s immediate circles, allowing us to meet others outside of school, work, or even our hometown. For people with demanding schedules or niche interests, dating apps can offer a level of accessibility and intentionality that traditional dating venues often lack. Through one’s profile, one can delineate their values, relationship goals, and preferences out the gate, without misunderstanding. While the paradox of choice can feel overwhelming, it can also increase the likelihood of meeting a lifelong partner. In this sense, dating apps are not inherently shallow or gamified; rather, they reflect the intentions and behaviors of the users, holding the potential to facilitate thoughtful, meaningful connections when approached with sincerity. 

Social Media as a Place for Connection

While social media is often criticized for fostering superficiality, distraction and even harm, it has also quietly reshaped how many of us form meaningful romantic relationships. I’ve observed—in friends, family, broader statistics, and my own experience—that meeting partners online has become not only common, but in many cases preferable. For some, connections that begin on social platforms feel less intimidating than approaching someone in person. 

Social media can be a great resource if one lives in a small town and wants to connect with other people, or just to meet someone across the world if they so desire! This was an inconceivable possibility for my parents when they were my age—they met across the street in Bogotá, their world of romantic possibility defined largely by physical proximity. 

My own relationships—including my last two and current partner—began through social media, which makes me inclined to see its potential. Still, I understand why this is not desirable to others; it comes with its own difficulties, such as distance and logistical challenges. With how integrated the internet has become in our everyday lives, online dating is likely here to stay. 

So, what is one to do if they want to stay offline?

Becoming One With Our Community

For some this may be not preferable, but we have to go outside! As tempting as our bed and couches are, we have to go out into our community and meet people! This is something I’ve been forcing myself to do for platonic relationships because it is surprisingly difficult to make friends as an adult. But going about it the “old-fashioned" way—meeting people in real life—can be incredibly rewarding, as it often allows for more meaningful conversations and shared experiences that can not be achieved through a screen. By routinely attending events or participating in hobbies we like, we can easily meet people with similar interests and naturally get into conversations. 

There are so many ways to do this. For example, platforms like meetup.com list dozens of in-person community events like hiking groups, book clubs, art workshops, and more. Local libraries often host author talks, craft nights, writing circles, and community discussions. Paint-and-sip classes, cooking classes, sports leagues, and volunteering events are great options as well. Even farmers markets, neighborhood cafés, or museum events can create easy opportunities to strike up conversations. 

From there—whether platonic or romantic—something can blossom without the gamification of dating apps or difficulties of social media.

Remembering to Take Care of Ourselves

In the midst of finding and making relationships, we must remember to prioritize ourselves and our mental health. I learned all too well while navigating love in my teens, that we can easily end up in toxic and unhealthy situations where the other person doesn’t care for our feelings or well-being. That is why we must put ourself first and be able to identify healthy elements of relationship, such as:

• Open communication: express thoughts and feelings easily

• Trust: consistent reliability and honesty between each other

• Respect: supporting one another without judgment even if disagreement arises

• Boundaries: acknowledging and respecting each other’s limits 

While navigating relationships in our 20s will still come with difficulties that arise as we age throughout this decade, it is important to evaluate what we value and emotionally need. Dating apps and social media are not inherently bad venues for connection, but it is wise to be aware of the limitations and downsides that come with them. The same applies to meeting people out in the wild! Whether online or in person, connections take time to nurture and sometimes don’t work out in the end—which is ok! These emotional risks are part of life and our social nature as humans, so take care to not become cynical towards romance or people in general. We just have to remember to take care of our mental health and recognize the healthy parts of relationships so we can avoid the bad.